Unusual woman writing through midlife/mom life — I’m a personal essayist, parent, and op-ed writer. I often have unusual opinions — informed by my experiences as the mother of a special needs kid, a rare INTJ female, and a breadwinner with a house husband— and I write about them here. I also often do unusual things and…

It’s not the reason you think. — (Author’s note: If you’re thinking of joining Medium to read more articles by me and other great writers, you can sign up through my link here. Your subscription will directly support my work!) I’m particular about my bathing suits: long shorts, and shirts that cover the midriff and cleavage. You…

It’s not about beauty standards or even AI — Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve heard about TikTok’s new “bold glamour” filter: a technologically impressive but ethically dubious tool that makes you look like you put on a lot of make-up and also gained a white great-grandma somewhere. (Note the narrowed nose and changed eyelids in the…

Researchers call it the “end of history” illusion — A butterfly’s metamorphosis may be the yuckiest thing in nature. A caterpillar starts by sprouting a crusty brown skin. It’s so tough that the poor thing gets frozen wherever it is, like if you were sitting in a chair one day and your skin turned into granite. But that’s not…

I know I did, anyway — There’s a room in my parents’ house that my sister and I call “the Mausoleum.” It’s a claustrophobic maze of boxes, a teetering collection of dead people’s things: costume jewelry, photo albums, quilts, china sets that are probably-junk-but-maybe-priceless-heirlooms, yearbooks, fancy old hats. The collection began fifteen years ago when my…

And the 11–3–6 rule that might help — A few weeks ago, I joined a local “comedic acting” class. The instructor asked us to introduce ourselves and explain why we were there — probably assuming we’d say things like I’ve always wanted to be on stage! or I did improv in college and it was fun. But I…

One mystery and two lessons — I’ll be the first to admit: I am not the kind of person who should be trusted with a piece of technology like ChatGPT. I’m odd, shameless, and pathologically curious. When other people are using ChatGPT to do research or write essays, I will probably just ask it to write…

I’m not clever, just lucky — There’s no shortage of articles about how terrible it is to be a woman — especially a working mother—these days. How exhausting it is to carry the burden of emotional labor, kin-keeping, and domestic logistics. How unequal heterosexual relationships continue to be in the distribution of household labor. Even I…

Hint: it’s not a “productivity” problem — My life is littered with unfinished projects: a wilted, weed-choked tomato garden, three skeletal websites, four scenes of a TV pilot, two unedited novels, a half album of songs I’ve never sung to anybody. I can’t even finish folding my laundry. It’s absurd. Depending on my mood, I’ll blame it…