I feel this, for sure. I try to worry less about being a good friend -- which is a platonic ideal that's impossible to reach, at least for me -- than about having a good friendship. And a good friendship looks different in different phases of life. For me, a good friendship is one that I can summon when I need it and not when I don't, and where my friends can do the same. I've gone stretches of two years without talking to my best friend, but right now we're on the phone all the time because she's having a tough pregnancy and I'm the person she needs to vent to. Those ebbs and flows work really well for us. But it's not for everybody!